Tyler+Clark

=A Brief Biography of Tyler Clark =

= = Tyler Clark was born in 1850 in a small Austrian village. Not much is known of his childhood other than it was spent in a monastery of silent monks, where he spent most of his time sleeping upside down like a bat and ingesting various plants and fungi to test whether or not they tasted like kale (His research led to great strides in the fields of Botany, The Culinary Arts, and Toxicology). Upon reaching adulthood, the monks expelled him from their midst, citing his lack of understanding that he lived in a //silent// monastery, not a "Tyler Clark is the single funniest person ever to have lived" monastery. Following his exile, he went to France to pursue a career in the art of being a mime. After discovering that this too required a knack for shutting up that he did not possess, he turned to drinking large quantities of Absinthe. One morning, after waking up hung over with a paintbrush in his hand and several completed canvasses, he discovered that he had single-handedly invented the artistic school of impressionism. However, the artistic establishment considered his work to be highly shocking due to its lack of voluptuous, suggestively posed naked women. He was forced to flee Paris and his fame was usurped by the far less talented artists whose paintings currently hang in the Musee D'Orsay. = = From there he proceeded to wander all over Europe in search of means of not starving to death. In 1889 he found himself in Germany with a young German philosopher named Friedrich Nietzsche, to whom he remarked "If I could describe that mustache in one word, it would not be 'Uber.' Buy a razor, Mensch!" That night, Nietzsche wrote the entire manuscript of // Thus Spake Zarathustra. // On June 28, 1914, he inadvertently shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, in an attempt to demonstrate to a woman that the pistol he carried at all times was most definitely not loaded, plunging Europe into the horrors of the First World War. He attempted to reconcile with the then-ruling Emperor Franz Josef I by sending him a plate of "apology cookies." The Emperor was not impressed with the gesture, commenting "They taste of lies and culinary perdition. See that the wastrel is hanged." Following Tyler's hasty departure from Sarajevo, an incompetent Serbian terrorist named Gavrilo Princips claimed responsibility for the attack. = = = = = =  Tyler Clark then fled to the United States, where he was employed in a number of odd jobs, including an assembly line worker at a lunchbox factory, an exotic dancer in Las Vegas, and the owner of a fishing boat (the latter venture failed due to the fact that he based his operation in Logan, Utah, which is landlocked). In 1936, he flew his private biplane out over the Pacific Ocean, where he was never heard from again. = = = = = =  Mr. Clark has publicly claimed responsibility for the invention of the Telephone, the Grand Canyon, and the entire genre of Jazz music, but most historians discount these claims as the result of his habit of consuming guava juice mixed with paint thinner twice a day ("It puts hair on your chest!"). Nevertheless, many prominant individuals have come out in support of his claims, including Salvador Dali, L. Ron Hubbard, and Charles Manson.

Other than being either dead or living as the chief of an underwater colony of Mer-People, Mr. Clark's hobbies include wearing man-scarves, long walks on the beach, sedition, amateur brain surgery, glass blowing, flower arranging, and many other vices, perversions, and general bad manners. He does weddings, birthday parties and Bar-Mitzvahs. = = = = = = =Green Eggs and Hamlet =
 * //A prosaic train-wreck of a blog, written by Tyler Clark, a hack writer and a scoundrel, and peppered with lies, hubris, and bad puns.//**

**#3. On Greed** This week's post will be about Greed, another Ideological Force that arguably exerts the most control over the BSM. Greed is a psychological need for something that borders on obsession. This "something" can be, well, nearly anything. Power, fame, love, and especially money. Every man, woman, and child that has ever lived has acted upon greed at some point in their lives. Greed can often lead people to do things that are unethical, unwise, shameful, and that compromise their personal, professional, and artistic integrity. This particular ideological force is interesting because it is entirely separated from necessity. Ignorance is something that is a state of being and Honor is dictated by societal requirements (even when it is misplaced), but Greed occurs in an absence of actual need. When a homeless man on the street asks for a sandwich, he is not being greedy because he needs nourishment in order to not die, but lacks the means to procure it for himself. When a billionaire sneaks a bite of your sandwich while you're not looking, he is being greedy because he just had caviar and grilled giraffe for a mid-morning snack (washed down by a glass of mimosa mixed with gold dust) and therefore is in no danger of starving. Greed can occur when there is an absence of tangible need. We see an excellent example of how this force has worked on Claudius in Act 3, Scene 3. This is the point at which Claudius reflects upon his actions and ponders whether there is any forgiveness for him in Heaven: media type="youtube" key="lJnitcq2sUI?version=3" height="360" width="480" align="center"

Claudius was led to murder his brother by his lust for his throne and wife. This greed completely overthrew his good judgement and, while resulting in the achievement of those things he wanted, happiness still eludes him because he committed murder to obtain something he didn't need. We see another example of Greed's usurping of logic further into his soliloquy:


 * //My fault is past. But, O, what form of prayer //**
 * // Can serve my turn? 'Forgive me my foul murder'? //**
 * // That cannot be; since I am still possess'd //**
 * // Of those effects for which I did the murder, //**
 * // My crown, mine own ambition and my queen. //**
 * // May one be pardon'd and retain the offence? //**
 * // In the corrupted currents of this world //**
 * //<span style="background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-left;"> Offence's gilded hand may shove by justice, //**
 * //<span style="background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-left;"> And oft 'tis seen the wicked prize itself //**
 * //<span style="background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-left;"> Buys out the law: but 'tis not so above; //**
 * //<span style="background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-left;"> There is no shuffling, there the action lies //**
 * //<span style="background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-left;"> In his true nature; and we ourselves compell'd, //**
 * //<span style="background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-left;"> Even to the teeth and forehead of our faults, //**
 * //<span style="background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-left;"> To give in evidence. What then? what rests? //**
 * //<span style="background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-left;"> Try what repentance can: what can it not? //**
 * //<span style="background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-left;"> Yet what can it when one can not repent? //**

Claudius believes he cannot truly repent without giving up the power he gained by committing the sin in the first place. "Oh, well that's great, Claudius! Just step down from the throne and God will let you off the hook!" Claudius, however, doesn't consider this an option and decides to give up and resign himself to eternal damnation.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">**// My words fly up, my thoughts remain below: //** <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">**// Words without thoughts never to heaven go. //**

As far as what I think about this, I really like it because it makes Claudius seem so... human. Up until this point, all we've really seen of Claudius has been colored by our limited perspective and Hamlet's all-consuming hatred for him. To me, at least, he seemed nothing more than your standard-issue archetype of depravity and treachery. At this point we see that, yes, he is a murderer, but he acted out of the exact same flaws that we all possess to some degree, and his soul is torn asunder by remorse for it. This is the "Luke I am your Father" moment of Hamlet, really. The point at which Claudius offers to rule the galaxy of truth with us, cuts off the hand of our preconceived notions with his lightsaber of soliloquy, and throws us down an abyss. Um... Yeah. That's a pretty good metaphor.

The second major ideological force at play in Hamlet is the idea and pursuit of Honor. Literally, to be honorable means to have integrity and conduct oneself in an honest and upright manner. This definition is generally accepted by the BSM until someone behaves dishonorably toward them, at which point Honor becomes a convenient excuse to stoop to the dishonorable individual's level to satisfy their wrath. We see this transition when we compare Hamlet's soliloquy in Act I, scene 2 with that in Act I, scene 5, both of which were posted earlier in the blog for your viewing enjoyment (I understand that this is the second time that I've alluded to these two soliloquies in the blog, but they're very important. Don't like it? Talk to your shrink about it.). In scene 2, Hamlet remarks on Claudius's ascent to the throne and marriage to his mother:
 * #2. On Honor **


 * //It is not nor can it come to good//**
 * //But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue.//**

Arguably, Hamlet is behaving honorably here by choosing to treat his uncle and mother with respect and conduct himself in a dignified manner. Then his tune changes after meeting with his father's ghost:


 * //Haste me to know't, that I, with wings as swift//**
 * //As meditation or the thoughts of love,//**
 * //May sweep to my revenge.//**

And then, of course, Hamlet runs around the castle pretending to be gibbering madman, puts on a play that publicly and not-so-subtly accuses the Danish King of cold-blooded murder, tells his girlfriend to go join a monastic order (Ooooooh snap!) after stabbing her dad through a curtain and has his two childhood friends killed through deceit and subterfuge. All this dishonorable behavior in the name of restoring his father's honor. In the words of a certain 43rd president of the United States, "Heckuva job, Brownie!"

This distortion of what it truly means to be honorable has always been used to manipulate the BSM into doing what its most cunning individuals want. Those in power want those below them to think it's honorable to serve or even die for them. For historical examples, look at some of the propaganda from the totalitarian regimes of the mid-20th century.

In Act IV, scene 7, Claudius manipulates Laertes into being the instrument of Hamlet's death by feeding Laertes's desire to avenge his father.

media type="youtube" key="vFR9A76DZ0g?version=3" height="360" width="640"

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">" //The problem with getting quotes off the internet is that there is great difficulty found in verifying their validity." -Abraham Lincoln//
 * <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 150%;">#1. On Ignorance **

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One of the most potent Ideological Forces at work on the BSM is something called "ignorance". Despite the negative connotation that it has accrued, Ignorance is simply the state of not knowing something, and can greatly influence the way one looks at a particular situation. For instance, the character Elizabeth from Jane Austen's //Pride and Prejudice// is for the majority of the book entirely disgusted with the character of Mr. Darcy, and spurns his proposals of marriage on those grounds. However, this attitude is based on her ignorance of the fact that Mr. Darcy is actually very, very wealthy. Once she visits Darcy's estate, Pemberly, her ignorance of this fact is resolved and she immediately (and without any hint of superficiality) reconciles with Darcy and gets married. As we see, she was under the influence of a potent Ideological Force.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hamlet is also influenced by this force at the very beginning of Shakespeare's masterpiece, when he (through soliloquy) laments his mother's marriage to his uncle so soon after his father's untimely death : <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">media type="youtube" key="OCBVmiVkzTM?version=3" height="315" width="420"


 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"By what it fed on, and yet, within a month— //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Let me not think on ’t. Frailty, thy name is woman!— //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A little month, or ere those shoes were old //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">With which she followed my poor father’s body, //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Like Niobe, all tears. Why she, even she— //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">O God, a beast that wants discourse of reason //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Would have mourned longer!—married with my uncle, //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My father’s brother, but no more like my father //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Than I to Hercules. Within a month, //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ere yet the salt of most unrighteous tears //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Had left the flushing in her gallèd eyes, //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She married. O most wicked speed, to post //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">With such dexterity to incestuous sheets! //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It is not nor it cannot come to good, //**
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue." //**

<span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-family: 'Lucida Grande',Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ignorant of Claudius's murder of his father, Hamlet blames his mother for his woes and questions her (admittedly poor) discretion in marrying her late husband's brother a month after his passing. However, when the ghost of his father informs him of his murder, Hamlet's animosity extends to Claudius, and he vows (again, through soliloquy) to avenge his father's death:

<span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-family: 'Lucida Grande',Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">media type="youtube" key="6RXrFhlxPdk?version=3" height="360" width="480"

<span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-family: 'Lucida Grande',Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">**//<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My tables!—Meet it is I set it down //** <span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-family: 'Lucida Grande',Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">**//<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain. //** <span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-family: 'Lucida Grande',Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">**//<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">At least I’m sure it may be so in Denmark. (writes) //** <span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-family: 'Lucida Grande',Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">**//<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So, uncle, there you are. Now to my word." //** <span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: left;">This is an excellent example of Hamlet's opinions and intentions being swayed by our first Ideological Force, Ignorance. <span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-family: 'Lucida Grande',Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-size: 12px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
 * //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain! //**

<span style="background-color: #f6f6f6; display: block; font-size: 150%; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">**Introduction:**

<span style="font-family: Impact,Charcoal,sans-serif; font-size: 46px;"> <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Lucida Grande',Arial,sans-serif; text-align: left;">//<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">How can our perception of reality change reality? //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> The easy answer is: it can't. No matter how prestigious the school your degree in Philosophy came from or how tweedy your tweed jacket is, one plus one will always equal two, a Phosphorus atom will always have fifteen protons in its nucleus, and I will always be able to set objects on fire with my mind.No amount of wishful thinking will ever change what //actually// happened, but they way people remember things and how society accepts them has always been subject to interpretation, manipulation and outright lies. This applies to history, politics, and almost every other venue through which a story is told. However, this blog is specifically about Shakespeare's //Hamlet//, and how it relates to the question that was posed (and italicized for your reading enjoyment) at the beginning of this blog. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Before we begin, allow me to introduce some terminology that I will be using for the rest of this blog. One of the things that must be acknowledged if I am to ever answer this question for you is that your average person is, in comparison to other invertebrates, exceptionally stupid and easily influenced by outside forces. Because of this (and for the sake of brevity), I will henceforth be referring to the human race as the BSM (which stands for "Barely Sentient Morons"). The outside forces that sway the general understanding of the BSM will be referred to as "Ideological Forces", as they have the power to change the way a person views the world in the blink of an eye. Be sure to read this paragraph over a few times so that you can fully understand and appreciate the content of this blog.